She Knocked Out Your Thyroid
By Atom Bergstrom
I came down with severe laryngitis while hanging out with my girlfriend.
As she was leaving, a chiropractor buddy drove up and they talked before she drove away.
I whispered, “Hi,” to my pop doc friend, hoarsely telling him my voice went south, and I suspected it was about my girlfriend.
“She knocked out your thyroid,” he said. “She damn near knocked out mine while we were talking.”
While he was working on me, my girlfriend phoned.
She wanted to talk, and I rasped, “I’ll call you later,” and hung up.
She phoned back, and, before she could speak, I said (not whispered), “Not now!” and hung up.
The phone kept ringing, and my voice was totally back to normal.
This is no diss on my former girlfriend. She’s a stand-up woman. We were just going through a rough time shortly before we ended the relationship.
It’s rare that “other” people cause “us” trauma. Mostly, it’s our fixation of “them,” and what we wish them to do or not do.
There’s a gonadal link to the thyroid.
Havelock Ellis (1906) wrote …
“When animals are castrated there is enlargement of the ductless glands in the body, notably the thyroid and the suprarenal capsules. It is evident, therefore, that the secretions of these ductless glands are in some degree compensatory to those of the testes. But this compensatory action is inadequate to produce any sexual development in the absence of the testes.”
According to the same source …
“… the ovaries are precisely analogous to the testes. They not only form the ova, but they elaborate for internal use a secretion which develops and maintains the special physical and mental qualities of womanhood, as the testicular secretion those of manhood. Moreover as Cecca and Zappi found, removal of the ovaries has exactly the same effect on the abnormal development of the other ductless glands as has removal of the testes.”
Augustin M. de la Pena (1983) wrote …
“… after partial thyroidectomy, a greater number of women develop breast and genital cancer; and […] administration of thyroid hormone is often observed to slow down cancer growth in the genitals and breasts.”