A healthy, happy sex life involves at least six separate primary emotional systems – or at least the ability to spontaneously express all of these six systems …

(I’m borrowing six of neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp’s seven basic emotional endophenotypes for this blog entry, skipping the seventh – PANIC/GRIEF – till I discover its positive contribution to sexual satisfaction.)

(1) SEEKING – novelty.

Sexual novelty is achievable with innovative ways, positions, and environments to have sex, not necessarily with multiple partners or serial monogamy.

Novelty’s beneficial effect on sexuality is a major theme of Vatsyayana’s Kama Sutra.

Sublime sex, according to the Kama Sutra, involves …

(a) artha – mastery of prosperity and material goods for the sake of individual and marital survival,

(b) kama – mastery of erotic science for the sake of enjoyment and the propagation of the species,

(c) dharma – mastery of virtue and righteousness for the conscious evolution and duration of the species, and

(d) moksha – cosmic liberation, which is more about grace (aerodynamics) than karma (gravity).

(a), (b), and (c) facilitate your climb up the stairs to the level of the ovum’s Heart Chakra (Bhanwar Gupha), and, when you finally reach the fourth floor, there’s (d) an elevator waiting to tote you up to the Throat Chakra (Sat Nam) and beyond.

(2) LUST – sexual excitement.

Lust’s role in sexuality is evident, and requires little explanation.

Lust requires hydrogen (for desire), phenylalanine, tyrosine, dopamine, adrenaline, noradrenaline, testosterone (for both men and women), and estrogen (for both men and women).

(3) CARE – nurturance.

Nurturance starts with the baby’s connection to the mother’s breasts.

Children express nurturance by loving their dolls and Teddy bears, and by playing “doctor.”

Adults are “adult-erated” children who continue to go to their doctor to “kiss the boo-boo.”

Care generates oxytocin and vasopressin and prevents “broken heart syndrome” – the separation of the heart bag from the heart.

Estrogen overlaps into the “care” category too.

(4) PLAY – social joy.

Tickling and playful wrestling bring the skin (a major sex organ) of the “contestants” into mutual contact.

“Who love each other tease each other,” goes the German proverb.

Tickling causes nerve growth in the hippocampus, supercharging both declarative and episodic memory.

Caution: Excess tickling over-activates FEAR circuitry, and the resultant cortisol destroys nerves in the hippocampus.

Excess cortisol increases the appetite for food, and cortisol deprivation increases the appetite for sex.

(To Be Continued Later)

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